


Clan of Three

by cariad_scribe



Series: Locked-down [6]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Multi, Mutual Pining, basically me purging my lockdown feels in a fic, but they're also in denial, liv and rafa are in love, this is a lockdown series, won't be canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 12:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cariad_scribe/pseuds/cariad_scribe
Summary: Noah wants to watch a new show. Olivia and Rafael pine obliviously.
Relationships: Rafael Barba & Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Series: Locked-down [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168718
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Clan of Three

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this one and then remembered that The Mandalorian came out later in the UK than it did in the US, so it felt like more of a lockdown moment for me because of that. Let's just pretend that the Benson household is slow on the uptake when it comes to pop culture in this case.

“Uncle Rafa?”

Rafael didn’t look up from his laptop. He was in the middle of typing up his slides for next week’s lecture, and, despite decades working in the legal profession, he still found himself spelling the word ‘affidavit’ wrong if he wasn’t paying attention.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t listening to Noah, however. The boy was sat on the other end of the table, working quietly through some exercise books Lucia Barba had sent down from Miami; she had heard that Noah was struggling a little with the remote learning, and being the brilliant teacher that she was, had found the ones she used in her school online and sent them to Olivia’s apartment the previous week.

“Yes?”

“Have you ever seen Star Wars?” Noah asked him as he finished one of the tasks in his book, his tongue sticking out.

Rafael’s brow furrowed with amusement at the boy’s question. He continued to type as he replied;

“Uh, yeah. Most of them. Why do you ask?”

“There’s a new show on Disney that’s Star Wars.” Noah explained before rooting around in his pencil case for something specific.

“Really?” Rafael said, attempting to sound enthusiastic whilst also working to add in some relevant info-graphics to his slides. There was something very strange about staring at conviction rate statistics whilst a small child was trying to talk to you.

“Yeah! There’s a man all dressed in armour, and some robots- I think they’re called droids- and a baby Yoda!”

At this, Rafael did lift his head up.

“Baby…Yoda?”

As far as Rafael was aware, Yoda had died in a cave in the early 80’s. But he had been a teenager when the film came out, so maybe he’d misremembered. He definitely recalled being distracted by Carrie Fisher at that age, so Yoda pausing to procreate at any point in the trilogy may have well gone unnoticed.

“Yeah and the man in all the metal armour has to help him, or something.” Noah continued, colouring a picture in his book. “My friends from school are talking about it. D’you think we could watch it too?”

“Maybe?” Rafael replied. He’d learned over the years, after watching Olivia and Amanda, that a lot of parenting young children involved negotiation that you didn’t necessarily plan on following up on. “You’d have to ask your mom, you know that.”

~~~~

Olivia had needed to be in court that day, so neither Rafael nor Noah saw her until she got home later that evening. Even then, she made Noah wait until she had washed off the day (and possible virus germs) in the shower before he could run up to her like he usually did.

“Mom! We made something with rice, and salad, and Rafa found some garlic bread in the freezer!”

“That sounds great, Noah.” Olivia said as she released him from a hug and set him back down on the floor.

She’d become more and more reluctant to go grocery shopping as the days went on. She absolutely didn’t want to take her son with her as things stood, but that meant that either her or Rafael would still have to go out and risk bringing back possible germs, which she didn’t much like the thought of either. In the end, they’d decided to start ordering groceries online and get them delivered straight to the apartment, which settled some of her nerves.

“Rafa let me cut the cucumber!”

“He did?” Olivia said, stepping into her kitchen to get a large glass of water. She’d talked a lot today; it always made her thirsty. “Was he watching you when you were doing it?”

Rafael pulled a face, as though she’d asked a stupid question. He was getting three plates out of the cupboard and stacking them up in the crook of one arm.

“Like a hawk.” he replied, passing by her to set the plates down on the table.

She smiled as she watched him set the table. It wasn’t the first time he had done this, even before he’d ended up staying with them, but the inherent domesticity of it continued to take her by surprise.

The three of them sat down together, passing food around the table to share and chatting about their day. Olivia couldn’t talk much about her’s, not with Noah around, but she knew that if she wanted to offload with Rafael after her son went to bed, he would only be too willing to listen.

For now, she settled for Noah talking her ear off about school work, his feelings about it, and whatever else came to mind. He talked about how Rafael let him work at the table with him, and ask him questions when he needed to.

Olivia’s heart warmed. People who cared for her son would always endear themselves to her, that much was true. But her closest friend, with his shirtsleeves rolled up and his hair beginning to fall down from its styled hold as he leant forward to help Noah cut a piece of his chicken…

Well that was something else entirely.

“Mom, can we watch the Star Wars show?”

“What did you say, sweet boy?” Olivia asked him, momentarily distracted by her own thoughts.

“The Star Wars show, on the Disney app.” Noah repeated, only a little frustrated at having to repeat himself. “My friends are watching it and it’s supposed to be good! Rafa said I had to ask you first.”

She turned to her friend with a quizzical look.

“It’s called ‘The Mandalorian’.” he replied. “I looked it up after he asked, I think it’s PG. But obviously you’ll have to see if it’s appropriate, I don’t really know anything about it.”

“We’ll see, ok Noah?”

Her son nodded, not yet discouraged.

~~~~

“Ok, well I guess we’ll just have to wait for them to go through all his files, however long that’s gonna take. Amanda, can you track down his previous arrest reports, I want to know if he’s been done for this before. Finn, take another crack at his girlfriend, see if she’ll give him up at all. Carisi- where are we with those warrants for his work locker?”

“I’m calling up the judge up after this; you should have them by this afternoon.”

Olivia nodded, pleased with the slight progress that was being made.

It still didn’t sit right with her; that she was at home whilst the rest of the squad were still going into work like normal. Well, if you could call spaced out desks, masks and regularly stuffing cotton swabs up your nose ‘normal’.

“Thanks everyone.” she said, pushing her glasses back up on top of her head. She was sat at a fold-up table in her bedroom, the case files spread out on the bed behind her. “Hopefully this case won’t be too much of headache.”

“Don’t jinx it Liv,” Fin warned her. “Normally I’m all for putting in the over-time but-,”

“The quicker we leave, the quicker we can all get home.” Amanda interrupted him. They were both in the squad room, using the computer on her desk to video call in.

Fin conceded and the pair of them waved before switching off their camera. Olivia was about to sign off with Carisi, when she remembered something she had been meaning to ask him.

“Carisi, just quickly before you go?”

“What’s up Liv?”

“It’s a bit of weird question, but have you heard of ‘The Mandalorian?” Olivia asked him.

“Oh yeah!” he replied, face breaking out into a surprised expression. “My nieces and nephews have been watching it. I caught the first two episodes the other night when there was nothin’ else on. It’s pretty good. Why?”

“Noah’s been begging me to watch it,” she explained. “I let him watch the films last year and his friends have been talking about this one. Is it ok for him to watch?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Carisi answered, nodding. “If he’s seen the films he should be fine. It’s pretty kid-friendly. Y’know, apart from all the blasters and stuff.”

“Alright.” Olivia said, still thinking it over. “Thanks Carisi.”

“No problem- let me know if he enjoys it. It’ll help with Christmas presents this year.”

She smiled at his comment and let him end the call to go contact the judge for her warrants. Olivia let herself stretch and breathe for a few moments in silence, looking out of her bedroom window at the eerily quiet city below, before turning to grab a file and get back to work.

~~~~

A few nights later, Olivia was the one to cook dinner. She didn’t find herself doing it all that often anymore. Not since Rafael had come to stay.

She didn’t mind, really. For her, mostly, cooking was just another task to complete. Unless she had the time to properly get ingredients and follow a recipe she was interested in, Olivia didn’t find all that much joy in the process. Eating however, she did enjoy- especially when it was being provided by the house-guest she had found herself with.

But her house-guest had been summoned to the actual offices of Fordham, for the first time since he had been employed by them. She didn’t know the ins and outs of the meeting- something about upcoming exams- but she had seen the way the outing had given Rafael a little more pep in his step. Getting dressed in one of his smartest suits, trimming his beard so that it was a little tidier, and knowing it was all going to be seen some of his peers; it had given her a glimpse of the Barba that so many people met in court. She had missed this side of him, but kept that thought to herself, in case it brought up any bad memories.

So she had been left in charge of feeding them all, which was fine. He was so often taking care of them in that sense that it felt nice to be returning the favour for once. Noah complained slightly when he saw that her choice of a roast chicken also contained a medley of vegetables, but the threat of no dessert if he didn’t at least try some of them stopped his pout in its tracks.

She, without meaning to, had also managed to have everything ready by the time he was done in the shower. He emerged from the bathroom as she was switching the oven off, smelling like clean clothes and the expensive shampoo he used.

“Olivia Benson, cooking. Colour me impressed.” he said as he joined Noah at the table.

“I’m going to act like that was a compliment.”

“Sorry, did it come out sarcastic?” he asked with a small smirk as he poured her some wine.

“About half of what you say comes out sarcastic,” she rebuffed, setting Noah’s juice down.

He didn’t argue with that, simply tucked into his food with enough enthusiasm that she was pretty sure he was enjoying it. Even Noah ate a few more vegetables than she expected him to, which was partly why she suggested what she did a little later on.

“Noah, did you still want to watch that Star Wars show you were telling me about?”

“Yes please!” Noah exclaimed, bouncing in his seat as she and Rafael cleared away their plates. “Can we watch it tonight Momma?”

“We can put the first episode on, to see what it’s like.” Olivia told him. “But you have to sit and watch all the way through; no getting up to bring toys out and getting distracted.”

Noah sometimes had a habit of requesting to put a film on, and then wandering off to play with something else half-way through.

“Ok, I promise. Can we have ice cream too?” he asked, already down from the table and rushing to the kitchen.

“Just one scoop.”

“I’ll get it,” Rafael told her as she was putting plates into the sink. “Unless the elephant has eaten it all again?”

He looked at her with a knowing glint in his eye. She didn’t think he would remember that, seemingly inconsequential, moment from a few years ago. She replied with a pleased look of her own.

Once things had been tidied away and ice cream was divvied out, Noah sat down next to his mother on the couch excitedly. He was barely able to stop himself eating his ice cream whilst she scrolled through the TV menu, trying to find the right show.

“Will you sit and watch too, Uncle Rafa?” Noah asked him. Rafael was wiping down the counter-top in the kitchen, his own bowl of ice cream waiting for him on the table.

“You sure?” Noah nodded earnestly in response. “Alright, I don’t see why not.”

Noah scooted closer to his mother, so there was room for the other adult next to him. The couch was just big enough for the three of them; if Noah was any bigger it might have been a tighter squeeze. (At the back of her mind, Olivia tried to picture what things might look like in a few years, when Noah was older. Would he still want to sit with her like this? Would Rafael still sit with them? She tried to picture what a teenage Noah would look like, whether he would still want the older man’s company. She desperately hoped that would be the case.)

Eventually Olivia found the first episode, double checked Noah was still interested and pressed play.

~~~~

At first, she hadn’t been sure Noah would stick it out to the end of the episode. Though intriguing, there wasn’t as much action as she anticipated and a lot of dialogue that even she had to concentrate on to be able to follow the plot properly.

But Noah had sat, with his ice cream, and stared at the TV- silent throughout. When it finished, he immediately asked if they could watch the next one, desperate to know what was going to happen next now that The Mandalorian had turned against his employers and saved Baby Yoda.

She wanted to say yes, but it had been time for him to get ready for bed so, with the promise of watching another the next day, she sent him off to change and pick out a book to read.

As result, it became another new routine.

Once they’d all finished their work and had dinner, the three of them would settle down onto the couch to watch another episode. Noah would always insist on sitting in the middle- during slightly more perilous scenes, he would usually cuddle closer to her for reassurance. On one occasion he had even clutched Rafael’s arm, to both of the adults’ astonishment, and where perhaps a few years ago the lawyer would have been unsure of how to handle the interaction, now he simply lifted his arm and let Noah use him as a sort of comfort blanket. The action meant that his arm had been resting alongside her’s; Olivia could feel the warmth of his skin through their clothes and as a result had some difficulty concentrating on the rest of the episode, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. It wasn’t particularly intimate- he wasn’t even touching her deliberately- but once the credits had started rolling, she leapt up from the couch on the pretense of needing the bathroom (when what she really needed was to get away from the feeling of being so close to him).

They’d got through all but one of the episodes, with a couple of days in between if they’d got caught up with something else. Olivia quite enjoyed having to wait, rather than binge in one go like most shows she consumed nowadays. It gave them all something else to look forward to, in a world that currently was on pause in so many other ways.

Olivia had never seen Noah so interested to watch a show before- he enjoyed cartoons and Sesame Street, like any other kid, but this was the first show he’d watched that had a more complicated plot. He’d sit mostly quiet whilst they watched and then when it was finished he would ask them questions about what had happened. Was The Mandalorian going to keep Baby Yoda? Does he live on the ship all the time? Who was he, before he got all his armour? And, crucially, was Baby Yoda _actually_ Yoda, or just a baby version of the same creature?

“C’mon Momma!” Noah shouted from the couch, where he and Rafael were already sitting. They were going to watch the final episode, something Noah had found incredibly difficult to wait patiently for. “Hurry up!”

Olivia shook her head as she came back from her bedroom, where she had been putting away some clean laundry.

“Noah calm down, there’s no rush.” she told him, stopping in the kitchen to get herself a drink before coming to join them on the sofa.

“We can put the episode on whenever we want Noah; it’s not going to start without us.” Rafael added, trying not to laugh. The boy was sat bolt upright on the couch, his excitement almost tangible.

“Look, I’m here now.” Olivia said, sitting down in her usual place the other side of her son, tucking her feet underneath herself to get comfortable. “Press play.”

She hadn’t thought she would get so invested, but Olivia had to admit to herself; watching the characters try to fight off Moff Gideon, the action steadily increasing with each passing moment- she couldn’t take her eyes off the TV. When the droid successfully managed to save The Child and bring him safely back to the building they were hiding out in, she sighed with relief. Noah was tense beside her, even more enthralled by the events playing out on the screen.

Then, when the eagerly anticipated moment came and the droid removed The Mandalorian’s helmet, Olivia actually gasped. Sometimes, when she watched TV with Noah, she would make noises in response to things- to make him laugh, or encourage a reaction in him. But this moment was entirely genuine.

“His helmet’s off Momma!” Noah half-whispered, half-exclaimed.

“It is, isn’t it?”

She hadn’t meant it to come out quite so breathy, but she hadn’t spoken in a while and it was _quite_ the moment. She knew of the actor, had seen him in other things. But there was still something intriguing about his character in _this_ show, and seeing his face for the first time after eight episodes was somewhat thrilling. Even beaten and bloody, he wasn’t a bad looking man.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could sense Rafael looking at her. She chanced a look at him, found him squinting at her slightly. She threw him a questioning glance but he didn’t respond, so she turned her attentions back to the TV.

She tried to school her reactions for the remainder of the episode, knowing that Rafael was noticing her. When it was announced that The Mandalorian would be The Child’s caretaker, as good as a father- Olivia was embarrassed to find herself getting a little emotional. Then there was the cliff-hanger of the villain still being alive, which made Noah immediately want to know if there was going to be another season.

“You’ll probably have to wait a little while,” Rafael told him as the credits continued to roll. He’d looked up on his phone if there were any more episodes, upon Noah’s request. “A couple of months I think.”

“Aww, but that’s so long!”

“That’s nothing,” Olivia told him conspiratorially. “When the films first came out you had to wait three years in between each one!”

Noah’s eyes widened and he turned to Rafael for conformation.

“Really? How old were you?” he asked both the adults.

“I think I must have been about your age, when the first one was released.” Rafael answered. “But I didn’t watch them all until a couple of years later.”

“I don’t think I watched them all until college,” Olivia pondered out loud.

“That’s old,” Noah concluded.

“Hey!” Olivia protested, poking him lightly in the ribs, earning a giggle. “Not _that_ old, thank you very much.”

“Well, not in my case anyway.” Rafael quipped, which resulted in a sharp glare from the woman sat opposite him.

Noah quickly moved on to the floor, rooting around in one of his toy boxes to find something specific for a game neither of the adults were privy to. Olivia switched the TV over to some house renovation show that she wasn’t all that invested in, just to have background noise whilst they sat. Rafael, ever ready for snacks, had gone to the kitchen and come back with a bowl of trail mix (the slightly more expensive kind, with pistachios and dried cherries in) and two glasses; one of wine, the other of scotch.

For a little while, they sat in silence- dipping their hands into the bowl every now and then for a handful of nuts and fruit, or sipping their drinks. Rafael was scrolling through his phone, concentrating so hard on something that eventually Olivia’s curiosity won out.

“What are you frowning about?” she asked him in a low voice.

Instead of saying anything, he turned his phone to show her the screen; he’d pulled up the Disney Store website, and was currently browsing through their various Star Wars merchandise.

“Figuring out what to ask Santa for this year?” she joked.

“Not for _me_ ,” he replied, nodding his head slightly in Noah’s direction. “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

“You’ll have to brainstorm with Carisi, make sure you don’t end up buying the same thing.” she told him, popping a dried cherry into her mouth. “Not that you should feel obliged to buy him anything.”

Rafael scoffed, turning his attention back to his phone.

“I’ve been buying him Christmas gifts for seven years, Liv- it would hardly be fair to stop now.”

He was right; he had always been incredibly reliable when it came to giving Noah gifts. Birthdays or Christmas, it didn’t matter; she could guarantee that there would be a perfectly wrapped present waiting for Noah when the day came. He usually stuck to books or Lego, something he considered at least a little educational (Carisi and Fin could usually be relied upon for the noisy, brightly coloured toys) but either way, it would be unwrapped with glee by her son and cherished from then on.

“Did you have toys like that when you were a kid?” she asked him, spotting a set of Star Wars action figures on his phone screen.

Rafael screwed his nose up and shook his head.

“Not exactly. I was little too old I think…” he trailed off, frowned and then corrected himself. “No, my father thought I was too old. He didn’t really get the whole sci-fi thing. He probably wanted me to get into The Godfather, or something similar.”

“That not your thing?”

“Not really.” he answered with a small smile. “I was never really a man’s man. Although, I did like Westerns.”

**_The world was an old movie; it was all black and white. It was High Noon; I was Gary Cooper._ **

The words came flooding back into her mind, unbidden. In the first few weeks after he left she couldn’t get his speech out of her head, going over it so often it ceased to make sense anymore; instead only conjuring up the feeling of being in the cold, standing with the knowledge that her best friend had walked away from her, _again_.

“But I guess this show is basically just a space Western.” he continued, unaware of the feelings his words had briefly re-awoken. “Bounty hunter going from town to town- it makes sense.”

“Hmm,” she murmured, another dried cherry halfway to her mouth.

They’d never actually talked about what happened. Why he felt he had to leave. She had forced herself to let it go, to just be grateful that he hadn’t left her life for good like so many others had. But she wasn’t so sure she had been successful in that endeavour. If she let herself spiral too much, all those emotions still threatened to bubble up to the surface.

“What’s up? Still distracted by the sight of him without his helmet on?”

Olivia snapped out of her disassociation, turning to frown at him in confusion. 

“What?”

“You, having your breath taken away like a lady from a romance novel.” he teased, reaching for a chocolate covered raisin. “I just never expected it of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she argued, readjusting her legs to a more comfortable sitting position and trying not to blush. From the other end of the couch, she could feel him smirking at her.

“I’m not judging you-,”

“I should hope not,” she almost snapped. “Considering you were probably all over the gold bikini moment back in the day.”

He drew back, a shocked, but amused, expression on his face.

“Olivia Benson, what do you take me for?”

“I don’t know, a teenage boy like all the rest of them?”

“How dare you,” he replied, though obviously not genuinely offended by her remark. “I can’t say I _didn’t_ enjoy it. But, to be honest, I always preferred her when she was angry with people.”

Olivia paused, sharing a strange and new smile with him.

Despite all his protests back when he was working with SVU, there was always a part of Olivia that wondered if he secretly enjoyed arguing with her. It was basically what he did for a living, so she knew he revelled in the feeling of one-upping someone with his words- but with them in particular, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something else underlying the verbal sparring that occurred. No one else had ever really challenged her in the way that he had, Olivia knew that for certain.

Despite all _her_ protests, a part of her had always enjoyed it too.

~~~~

Later, when everyone had turned in for the night, Rafael couldn’t help but continue to picture the expression on Olivia’s face when they had been watching TV, and The Mandalorian’s helmet had been removed.

He’d made an active point of not taking any notice of her dating life, particularly after the way he’d found out she was seeing Tucker had blown up in their faces. Not only was it ultimately none of his business (internal investigations of the police and the church aside) but it was also a very slippery slope towards confusing his relationship with her beyond repair.

Rafael Barba had liked Olivia Benson instantly. From the moment they’d started working together on their first case, he knew she was the type of person he could learn to get along with. She was a brilliant detective, who did not shy away from calling him out as and when she felt like it- which caused some muddled feelings inside him for those first few months.

 _Oh, who was he kidding_ \- his feelings had been confused on and off ever since he’d known her.

She was his friend, first and foremost. His _good_ friend, one he’d do anything to keep. She was also, for a significant amount of time, his colleague, which meant that professionalism also had to take precedence.

But she was also beautiful, and caring, and fierce in her pursuit of justice and sometimes it was altogether too much for him to deal with all in one go.

_That guy who plays The Mandalorian isn’t bad looking_ , Rafael thought to himself as he lay on the couch bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. _Is it just his face she liked?_

 _Maybe she has a thing for Hispanic men?_ was his next thought. _No, that can’t be right, if the two previous boyfriends are anything to go by._

Rafael scolded himself. What was he doing, speculating about things like this? It wasn’t as if this was something that would ever need to come up in conversation, that she would ever see him that way at all. Even if it had been the case, once upon a time, he had killed that idea the moment he’d walked away and left her on the steps of the courthouse, in the freezing cold.

And then never once talking about it, even years later.

He’d had a glass of scotch, and probably too much sugar in the trail mix, and he’d been staying the same apartment as her for weeks now. It was just the close proximity, he told himself sternly. _That and the fact you haven’t had a date in nearly five years_ , the small bitter voice in his brain added. _Basically ever since you thought you were-_

Rafael cut himself off, grabbed his phone and headphones from the arm of the sofa and scrolled until he found a white noise playlist long enough to send him off. Putting the headphones in his ears, he thumped the pillow behind his head until a fraction of the tension in him was abated, and tried to get to sleep- desperately ignoring the fact that the woman currently filling his head was sleeping only a few steps away.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a shorter one but I had the idea of them watching The Mandalorian and it awakening something in both of them neither of them can quite come to terms with yet. Mando (a prickly Latino guy who finds himself looking after a child) & Leia (a no-nonsense strong female leader)- there's some parallels they don't quite realize yet.  
> The next few chapters will have a lot more tension and pining, so please bare with for more Plot as the series goes on.


End file.
